In my forty two years of life on this earth, I can probably count on one hand the number of times I have heard a homily (or even a prayer intention) against contraception or sterilization during a Sunday mass.  Currently statistics show no difference in contraceptive use amongst Catholics and the general population.  I guess you could say, out of sight, out of mind.  If the faithful are not reminded of the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and being open to children, then they will follow the culture’s lead.

Now the President of the United States has passed a law that will force the Catholic Church and its organizations to officially violate its moral teachings and pay for sterilizations, contraception including those that may cause an abortion.  The Catholic Church has consistently taught against intentional sterilization, abortion, and the use of artificial contraception and Pope Paul VI recently re-affirmed the Church’s position in his encyclical Humanae Vitae.

The fact that most Catholics do not adhere to this teaching should not enter into the discussion, but I think it will over the coming months.  Understandably, the Church’s teaching on these topics makes many uncomfortable, many leaders within the Church do not like discussing it in private conversations, much less in a public forum.

So in a sense, the Obama administration’s action may be a good thing for the Catholic Church.  For so many years the Church in the United States has been able to largely ignore this topic, but now she is being forced to defend an attack of one of her moral teachings.  My fear is that the Catholic laity may be so ignorant of the beauty of this teaching and so steeped in a contraceptive lifestyle, that we may be fighting against ourselves in this battle.  The Secretary of Health and Human Services, Kathleen Sebelius, who is charged with implementing the new Health care legislation, is a Catholic.  The USCCB is going to have an uphill fight, but with prayer and sacrifice and God on our side, the war will surely be won, but the battles will be difficult and will have many casualties.

Bravo to the Bishop of Austin, Joe Vasquez, for taking such a strong stand against this law.  Please pray for him and for our Diocese.

Resources:

• Diocese of Austin letter on HHS Ruling
• United States Conference of Catholic Bishops
• Christopher West explains the Church’s teaching against Contraception
• Catholic Answers explains the Church’s teaching against Contraception
• Humanae Vitae – Encyclical of Pope Paul VI
• Catechism of the Catholic Church Paragraph 2366-2379

When to Discipline

One of the most common questions parents have is when it is appropriate to discipline their children.  After all you can’t be constantly disciplining your children, lest they be provoked to anger (Ephesians 6:4).  You need to pick your battles, but the battle you pick could greatly decrease the number of battles you encounter.  I propose that you begin with respect.  If your children do not have respect for you or for God, they will not obey you and will probably not obey God’s laws either.  Secondly, willful disobedience should never be tolerated, if you give your child a task and they refuse to do it, the punishment should be immediate.  Willful disobedience is closely linked to respect and thus it is very important to not tolerate it.

I remember when I was growing up, my grandmother would tell me to do this or that or to stop doing something and if I didn’t do it right away, she would count to three.  I usually complied by the time she got to two and a half.  I was conditioned, I knew that I had until three to obey.  We as parents should not count (unless we are trying to teach our children their numbers), we should expect first time obedience and if the children don’t comply, then we should administer the consequence immediately.  Children will learn the parameters in which they can operate and if you count, then will learn to persist in their disobedience until the count of three.

Of course this list may not include your favorite violations of household order, so feel free to add more to the list of lines that should never be crossed, but be prepared to defend your position.  As your children get older, they will question arbitrary rules and if you can’t explain the reasons why you have them, the level of respect your children have for you may be significantly diminished.

Disciplinary Techniques

When should you start to discipline your child?  The answer is simple, as soon as your child shows signs that he or she understands what you are saying.  When you say no and your child pauses for a moment, it is time.  The younger you start to discipline, the easier your job will be.  Most children are not naturally obedient, you might have one, but you should consider that a freebie from God.  I have nine children, and we got really lucky and we have two.  The rest of the kids are normal and we continually have to administer discipline and sometimes it is really difficult work.

The high level overview of discipline goes like this.  If you don’t do this, then this will happen and if the child doesn’t comply, then you need to administer the consequence.  The key is consistency, no exceptions, if you say that their favorite toy will be taken away if they don’t put their toys up, then you better take that toy away if they disobey.  If you don’t your credibility will be severely diminished.  Don’t make the threat if you are unwilling or unable to follow through.

Consequences should be appropriate to the offense and to the child.  With that in mind, here are some consequences that work for our family and may work for yours as well.  The key to administering any form of punishment is remain calm, and dispense the consequence in a loving way.  For younger children, ages 2 to 7, we have used time out, spankings, and physical exercise.  Time out is pretty easy, you find a corner and put the child in time out for a certain length of time, one minute for each year of age is a good rule of thumb, and require that the child stands quietly for the whole time, lest the timer starts over.  The key to spankings is that they should only be applied to young children who have not yet achieved the age of reason (normally around age seven) and that they be administered calmly and not in anger.  Spankings are also much more appropriate for boys.  Girls will generally not respond well to spankings and you should consider timeout or physical exercise as a better alternative for them.  Physical exercise is a great method for us, we like push-ups, they can be done almost anywhere and can easily be increased to match the offense.  You may find that some children may get very good at push ups and thus require a few more to feel like they were punished.  Jumping Jacks, leg lifts, pull ups also work pretty well, but may be a little more difficult to use when not at home.  Lastly, you may wish to take away a favorite toy, restrict the use of the computer or TV for a period of time.

As children get older, the consequences will need to change a bit.  While physical exercise and withdrawal of privileges are still useful, spankings and timeout are no longer appropriate or effective.  Two powerful consequences are essays and blackout.  Your older child may understand the transgression better after having written a 500 word essay on respect.  The topic of the essay should be related to the transgression and it should be well written with proper sentence structure, spelling and grammar.  The child looses all privileges until the essay is completed and approved by the parent.  Blackout is to be used as the ultimate punishment for only very serious offenses, such as the top three listed at the beginning of this article.  Black is a complete withdrawal of all benefits.  Since you own the home, the clothes, the car, pay for the sports, etc.  They don’t get to do anything or eat anything that you consider to be non-essential.  They may also be expected to do extra chores around the home. They should remain on blackout until the essay is written, the behavior changes, or proper reparation is made for the transgression.  The child should be informed of the duration of black out or the parameters that should be met to have black out lifted.  Blackout is a very effective method to change frequent problematic behavior, but it should be used sparingly as it is tough on the child as well as the parent.

Discipline is one of the most difficult tasks that a parent can undertake, but the rewards are heavenly.

Directed by the Opus Dei Prelature

Location:

Saint William Catholic Church
620 Round Rock West Dr.
Round Rock, TX 78681
www.saintwilliams.org

Date: Thursday, Nov 17th at 7 PM. (and every third Thursday of the month)
Schedule:
7:00 PM – 1st Meditation in the chapel.
7:50 PM – Talk in a classroom (TBD).
8:20 PM – Examination of conscience in the chapel.
8:30 PM – 2nd Meditation in the chapel.
9:00 PM – Exposition & Benediction with the Blessed Sacrament.

Notes:
1) St William’s offers mass at 6:00 PM in the main church.
2) Priest will be available for confessions at 6:30 PM in the Chapel Sacristy and during the talk and private recollection times.
3) The chapel is located across the main church. The Blessed Sacrament is exposed 24 hours next to the chapel.
4) Classrooms are on the far right of the Chapel passing the Activity Center

For further information, contact Montevista Study Center,
345 E. Summit Ave., San Antonio, Texas 78212, (210) 732-3065
http://montevistasc.net/

Retreats for Men
Featherock Conf. Ctr.
934 Holub Rd., Schulenburg, Texas 78956 (979) 743-3071
Registration and further information: www.featherock.org

Humor

A well made movie can make a profound connection with the audience either through laughter, characters or both.  Laughter draws us into the story, it causes us to let our defenses down for a little while and make light of a difficult topic or situation, it eases the tension that we may associate with a given topic and many times, makes it easier for us to accept.  The 80‘s sitcom, Three’s Company, made fun of homosexuality and made this objectively immoral lifestyle more familiar to us and thus easier to accept.  Cheech and Chong, The Breakfast Club, Fast Times at Ridgemont High and many other movie’s comic portrayal of recreational drug use made “getting high” attractive to many viewers.  Movies like Arthur, Bachelor Party, and many other’s depiction of excessive drinking convinced more than a few viewers that getting drunk was just plain fun and thus no harm, other than a hangover, could come from it.

Likable Characters

Well developed characters, who are complex and possess qualities similar to our own serve to draw us into a relationship with them.  There are characters I recall from movies and TV shows I watched growing up whom I almost feel like I know personally.  Ferris Bueller, Indiana Jones, McGyver, the cast of Cheers, the cast of Friends, etc.  For me personally, I came to know and loved many of these characters, I identified with them and thus I started to adopt their views and beliefs, even those that conflicted with the views and beliefs of the Catholic Church.   My kids and I read books and watch movies together and we talk about the characters like they are real, mentioning how so and so from a book or movie handled a particular situation.  Fortunately for my kids, the media they consume is a positive influence on their behaviors, and more times than not, it provides them with positive role models who assist them in living out a virtuous Christian life.

We are profoundly shaped by the media we consume, the more time we spend with it, the more it shapes our attitudes, values and life choices.  The effect is intensified the younger the viewer is.  Be careful little eyes what you see and hear, they are the portals into our souls.

I have written a review of the new movie entitled The Way (by Emilio Estevez and Martin Sheen) at the Catholic Sistas blog.  This movie is being marketed heavily to the Catholic community and for the most part it has received favorable reviews by Catholic movie reviewers.  My review is less favorable, so check it out and let me know what you think.

You are cordially invited to attend the first Parent Formation Series presentation at St. William Catholic Church in Round Rock, TX

When: Tuesday, October 18th from 7-9PM
Where: in the Michael J. McGivney Pavilion
620 Round Rock West Dr, Round Rock, TX

The presentation will include food, fellowship and crucial information for every parent of teens and pre-teens.

“Forming Family Prayer and Sacramental Life with Adolescents”

Presented by: Fr. Jonathan Raia and Allen Hébert

Hope to see you there!

For more information or to RSVP, please contact our High School or Middle School Youth Ministry Directors: Chris Bartlett  or Audrey Higgins

Today I have seen two very good posts in my Facebook news stream, both deal with the reality of Abortion.  The arguments are solid, but I fear many people who believe in the right to procure an abortion, will simply dismiss these arguments as irrelevant because seeing abortion for what it is would cause them to change their views on the subject and maybe their whole life.  Change is never easy and I myself struggle at times to change when I learn that this or that belief or habit that I have is not true or will result in some harm to myself or my family.  But change is one of the only constants in our lives.  Everything changes and for those who profess Jesus Christ to be the Lord of their life, our change must be to conform ourselves to the image of Christ.  Hopefully these two arguments will help you or someone you know and love to change for the better with regards to the sanctity of human life.

The Gynecologist Visit

A worried woman went to her gynecologist and said: ‘Doctor, I have a serious problem and desperately need your help! My baby is not even 1 year old and I’m pregnant again. I don’t want kids so close together. So the doctor said: ‘OK and what do you want me to do?’ She said: ‘I want you to end my pregnancy, and I’m counting on your help with this.’ The doctor thought for a little, and after some silence he said to the lady: ‘I think I have a better solution for your problem. It’s less dangerous for you too.’ She smiled, thinking that the doctor was going to accept her request. Then he continued: ‘You see, in order for you not to have to take care of 2 babies at the same time, let’s kill the one in your arms. This way, you could rest some before the other one is born. If we’re going to kill one of them, it doesn’t matter which one it is. There would be no risk for your body if you chose the one in your arms. The lady was horrified and said: ‘No doctor! How terrible! It’s a crime to kill a child! ‘I agree’, the doctor replied. ‘But you seemed to be OK with it, so I thought maybe that was the best solution.’ The doctor smiled, realizing that he had made his point. He convinced the mom that there is no difference in killing a child that’s already been born and one that’s still in the womb. The crime is the same! Together we can help save precious lives! “Love says I sacrifice myself for the good of the other person. Abortion says I sacrifice the other person for the good of myself. – Author Unknown

The Holocaust

This 30 minute Documentary will shock you.  A Jewish man interviews a broad range of people and asks them some historical questions and some questions on their beliefs, you might be shocked by their answers and even more shocked by how many of them slowly start to acknowledge the truth of their beliefs.  It is 30 minutes of your time well spent, trust me.  But don’t show it to your kids until you have viewed it first.  There are some disturbing images of the Nazi Holocaust included.  They are not overly gratuitous, but they are very disturbing and effective in making his point. Source - http://180movie.com/

My youngest daughter is celebrating her 8th birthday today. Happy Birthday Therese!

We are so proud of you, after all you have had a rough life thus far with 3 younger brothers and two older ones :^). But you handle yourself so well.

Love,
Dad

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High Mountain Pies

Leadville, CO

Rafting

Rafting on the Arkansas River

Leadville, CO

Leadville, CO

Leadville, CO

Prolife Truckers in Kansas

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(120 Photos)

Many years ago someone forwarded me an article written by a professor at the University of Dallas.  The topic was how to get your kids to behave during Mass.  While I have been unable to find a copy of that article on my computer or locate it on the Internet, the content and method of it is clearly etched in my mind because it has brought much peace to our Sunday routine and to family life in general.

For many families with young children, the occasion of attendance at Sunday Mass can be quite challenging and may even be a source of much stress rather than an opportunity for receiving the grace of God.  My wife and I have been going to Mass for nearly 18 years with young children.  At times we have been “that parent” with the loud disruptive child.  We have encountered about every situation within the context of the Mass setting.  We have had temper tantrums, excessive crying, injuries, sibling quibbling, brotherly and sisterly love spats, excessive whispering and talking, and general complaining.  There will always be occasions of disruption when attending Mass with young children and everyone who sits near you will notice and so will your priest.

Lest you feel that you child is the worst and that there is no hope, I will share with you that we have been asked to leave Mass by the Priest due to the behavior of our children (thankfully only a couple of times), received numerous disapproving looks from fellow parishioners as well as being shown the location of the cry room.  The rude comments that we have received are numerous and instead of spurring us onto sitting outside the doors of the Church, it strengthened our resolve to work more diligently with our children to limit or eliminate those common disruptions during Mass time.

If you are older, or if you talk with you parents, you will find that at one time good behavior at Mass was the norm.  Our pastor remembers growing up with 4 brothers and his recollection of some 40 years ago is that bad behavior was not tolerated by his parents or any of the other parents with young children that attended his boyhood parish.  What changed?  Why do parents tolerate bad behavior these days?  I think there are many reasons, but I don’t think too many would disagree that the expectations of society in general are lower than they were 40 years ago for the behavior of children.

The Solution

This article will hopefully give you one tool to assist you as parents in raising the bar of expectations for behavior for your young children in Mass.  This method is very effective, it will work on children as young as age 2 (maybe even one and a half).  It does require consistency and hard work, but you probably know that this is true of anything we undertake as a parent.

Begin with prayer and love.  We are better parents when we call upon our loving Father in heaven to assist us with our difficult parental tasks and this one is no different.  He knows exactly what it feels like to have a disobedient and unruly child.  

The first step is to practice proper Mass behavior at home.  Setup a room with chairs and maybe a make-shift altar, then each day of the week for about 10 minutes, practice the proper form of sitting, standing and kneeling.  In addition, remind your children why you are doing this and as Sunday Mass time gets closer, remind them of your expectations.  While sitting, your hands should be on your lap and you should not be slouching or laying down.  During the standing posture, you should keep your hands to yourself and not lean forward on the pew.  It is also worthwhile to prohibit the children from playing with the missalette.  When kneeling you should not rest your bottom on the pew, but be upright and attentive during the consecration, remind them that Jesus is present upon the altar.  This is great catechesis for the little ones who have not yet received their first communion.

To further demonstrate the importance of Mass, plan to arrive fifteen minutes early.  An early arrival will allow you to establish a peaceful and orderly mood prior to Mass and may offer a few minutes to practice sitting, standing and kneeling in the Church (as opposed to your pretend pews at home).

We have found that previewing (explaining what is expected once again) proper behavior during the drive to Mass and also offering a reward at the end of Mass for those children who demonstrate the desired good behavior is very effective.  The reward should be small, maybe a donut after Mass or some other treat that will be an added incentive for good behavior.

If one or more of your children don’t get it right, stay after Mass and practice some more, and certainly don’t give a reward.  Most children will show much improvement after the first week of training, but typically another week or two of home practice will be necessary to achieve the desired goal.  The key to this method is helping your children to understand that good behavior at Mass is important and that you are serious about it.

If you are able, attend daily Mass during the week, it will provide your children with more opportunities to practice good behavior for Sunday Mass and you will also receive much grace by your attendance at Mass.

Don’t be surprised if you start getting positive comments about how good your children are during Mass, and you may also get comments from other parents who tell you that you got lucky because their kids could never be that good.  Take that opportunity to assure them that it took a lot of work and then share this method with them.  They will thank you for it later.

Jesus said, “Let the children come to me, and do not prevent them; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Mt 19:14