In my forty two years of life on this earth, I can probably count on one hand the number of times I have heard a homily (or even a prayer intention) against contraception or sterilization during a Sunday mass.  Currently statistics show no difference in contraceptive use amongst Catholics and the general population.  I guess you could say, out of sight, out of mind.  If the faithful are not reminded of the beauty of God’s plan for marriage and being open to children, then they will follow the culture’s lead.

Now the President of the United States has passed a law that will force the Catholic Church and its organizations to officially violate its moral teachings and pay for sterilizations, contraception including those that may cause an abortion.  The Catholic Church has consistently taught against intentional sterilization, abortion, and the use of artificial contraception and Pope Paul VI recently re-affirmed the Church’s position in his encyclical Humanae Vitae.

The fact that most Catholics do not adhere to this teaching should not enter into the discussion, but I think it will over the coming months.  Understandably, the Church’s teaching on these topics makes many uncomfortable, many leaders within the Church do not like discussing it in private conversations, much less in a public forum.

So in a sense, the Obama administration’s action may be a good thing for the Catholic Church.  For so many years the Church in the United States has been able to largely ignore this topic, but now she is being forced to defend an attack of one of her moral teachings.  My fear is that the Catholic laity may be so ignorant of the beauty of this teaching and so steeped in a contraceptive lifestyle, that we may be fighting against ourselves in this battle.  The Secretary of Health and Human Services, Kathleen Sebelius, who is charged with implementing the new Health care legislation, is a Catholic.  The USCCB is going to have an uphill fight, but with prayer and sacrifice and God on our side, the war will surely be won, but the battles will be difficult and will have many casualties.

Bravo to the Bishop of Austin, Joe Vasquez, for taking such a strong stand against this law.  Please pray for him and for our Diocese.

Resources:

• Diocese of Austin letter on HHS Ruling
• United States Conference of Catholic Bishops
• Bishop Zubik’s letter
• Christopher West explains the Church’s teaching against Contraception
• Catholic Answers explains the Church’s teaching against Contraception
• Humanae Vitae – Encyclical of Pope Paul VI
• Catechism of the Catholic Church Paragraph 2366-2379

Directed by the Opus Dei Prelature

Location:

Saint William Catholic Church
620 Round Rock West Dr.
Round Rock, TX 78681
www.saintwilliams.org

Date: Thursday, Nov 17th at 7 PM. (and every third Thursday of the month)
Schedule:
7:00 PM – 1st Meditation in the chapel.
7:50 PM – Talk in a classroom (TBD).
8:20 PM – Examination of conscience in the chapel.
8:30 PM – 2nd Meditation in the chapel.
9:00 PM – Exposition & Benediction with the Blessed Sacrament.

Notes:
1) St William’s offers mass at 6:00 PM in the main church.
2) Priest will be available for confessions at 6:30 PM in the Chapel Sacristy and during the talk and private recollection times.
3) The chapel is located across the main church. The Blessed Sacrament is exposed 24 hours next to the chapel.
4) Classrooms are on the far right of the Chapel passing the Activity Center

For further information, contact Montevista Study Center,
345 E. Summit Ave., San Antonio, Texas 78212, (210) 732-3065
http://montevistasc.net/

Retreats for Men
Featherock Conf. Ctr.
934 Holub Rd., Schulenburg, Texas 78956 (979) 743-3071
Registration and further information: www.featherock.org

We have found that wearing color coordinated shirts not only makes it easy for us to find our kids, but also to enlist the help of everyone else around us.  Several times at theme parks, complete strangers have brought our errant children back to us and said, “I think this one belongs to you”.

We have t-shirts that are just bright solid colors, but we also have a couple of sets of T-Shirts from The Alexander House (Marriage Ministry), but these N-Him Athletics shirts appear to be a collectors item now since they don’t have them listed in their webstore :^).

As you can see, we are proud to be Catholic and just like everyone else who wears a t-shirt with a secular message on it, we are showing what we love most: our Catholic faith.

The Rees Family

In less than a week, we will be hosting a parish dance at St. William Catholic Church in Round Rock, TX featuring L’Angelus. L’Angelus is a family band that has Cajun and Irish roots.  The musicians are the Rees family’s four oldest children: Katie, 28; Paige, 27; John, 24; and Steve, 23  In addition to the 4 oldest, the Rees family has four younger children.  They are a shining example of a family who is seeking to follow God’s plan for their lives.

For more information about the dance, click here.

My family first encountered L’Angelus at the Midwest Catholic Family Conference in Wichita, KS in August of 2010.  Our family has been to many Catholic conferences and most of those conferences have a music related guest, we have seen Mr. Stinky feet, Tony Melendez and Toe Jam, Eric Genuis, John Michael Talbot, Michael John Porier, and The Glory Estate.  While all these musicians provided some great music and some great testimonies to God’s love and providence, there is something different about L’Angelus.  Their music is very good, the talent of the individual musicians is top notch, but there is something else.  The teamwork of this family is inspiring, they work together to make beautiful music, you can’t help but see the joy in their performances.  They are genuinely happy to be making music together and as a result, they present a beautiful example of God’s plan for family life.  Unfortunately, in our society today, these example are few and far between.

The Breakdown of the Family

We have nine children in our family and my wife and I have been married for over twenty years.  As our family has grown, we have explored many different opportunities to keep our family close knit.  We have know many families, with far fewer kids, who seem fractured, all going in very different directions and not appearing to really like being with each other.  There are several movies, which come to mind. depicting the obligatory family vacation or family party that everyone in the family has to attend, even though the members of the family can’t stand being around each other.  We were determined that we would not be that family.

Blessed Pope John Paul II famously proclaimed in a 1986 homily in Perth Australia, “As the family goes, so goes the nation and so goes the whole world in which we live.”  Our current society seems to be designed to break families apart, even in the most well intentioned families.  It seems that the natural tendency is for the kids to dislike being around their parents and their siblings and many times the parents feel the same way.  The desire to be your own person and do your own thing with people other than your relatives seems to be the highest achievement of freedom.  Some say this is just a normal part of growing up, and I partially concur (See Gen 2:24) , but what is at the root of this strange phenomenon and why is it occurring in children as young as 8?  What about being “family” makes being a part of your family so undesirable? Has family life become so mundane and painful that any outside activity appears to be more fulfilling and desirable to its members?  If so, are we really living our family lives as God intended?  God created mankind, male and female he created them to be fruitful and multiply and God himself said it was very good.  After all, God does not make junk, he makes good things, perfect things, and in the case of the human family, he made us in his own image and likeness.  I think the problem today is that our marriages and our families fall short of the glory of God (the understatement of the year maybe).

The Building up of the Kingdom within the Family

See how happy they are to be praying!

Building up a Holy Family is a vital work that we are called to do.  Society may not assist us with this vital task, but the Church does.  Blessed Pope John Paul II wrote much about the importance of the Human Family.  He penned an Apostolic Exhortation entitled, “On the Christian Family in the Modern World” (Familiaris Consortio) a little over three years after being elected to the Papacy.  In this document, he emphasizes that selfishness is rampant within the family and is the root cause of its breakdown. Blessed John Paul’s treatise on the Christian family proposes that we model our families after the image of God.  The love between the Father and Son is given freely, completely, and is always faithful and fruitful, the visible fruit of this love is the Holy Spirit.  We need to transform our families into Godly families, where the members of the family truly love each other and desire to be with each other and enjoy one another’s company.  Sometimes it is hard for parents to see beyond the current struggles and tough times, but we owe it to our children to overcome the difficulties and challenges of life and maintain an atmosphere of Love within our families.

Fun Family Activities

A Family Hike

As my wife and I began our own family, we made it a priority to do things as a family, it was pretty easy when the children were under the age of 10, but as they got older and we continued having more children, the struggle to continue to do things as family became more difficult.  When you have kids of similar ages, you can pick one activity that everyone will enjoy, but if you have kids ranging from age 2 to 17, there are very few family activities that will entertain and please the whole family.  But we are determined that we will find creative ways to keep our family together, the example we set for our kids in this area will be the bar they will use to measure their own family’s success or failure.

We have found some great activities that work very well.  Given that we are Catholics, our faith is a central part of our lives.  We are very involved with our parish community and have many catholic family friends.  We are also committed to praying together as a family every day, and most days that prayer takes the form of the Rosary.  I cannot emphasize how important the faith is to building up your holy family in God’s image.  If you are not united in your faith, it will be very difficult to be united in everyday family life.

Dancing with Grandpa

We take regular family trips, taking time out for family time away from everyday life is essential and allows the family to spend time away from all the usual commitments to sports, school and work.  Family dances have proven to be an awesome opportunity for our children to not only interact with us, but also with each other.  My wife has quite an extended family and thus we have the opportunity to attend many weddings and family events which usually have some good music and maybe even a live band.  Dancing to good music (polkas, waltzes, two steps and even line dances) requires the two people to pay very close attention to each other and to even trust that the other person will not step on their toes.  It is an activity that must be done in cooperation with another person, there is no success on your own, if only one person is committed to dancing the two step and the other is dancing a Waltz, even if both individuals are dancing their step perfectly, they will both look pretty silly.  They must work together to bring forth a beautiful dance.  I will be the first to admit this is not as easy as it sounds.  We have found that the rewards of perseverance and even multiple failures are well worth the initial struggles.

Activities that the whole family can participate in vary greatly from family to family.  Each family is different and has unique likes and dislikes.  For our family, praying a rosary each evening, family dances and vacations have worked very well.  As St. Padre Pio was quoted as saying, “Pray, Hope and don’t worry“, God wants you to have a happy holy family built in his image, and he will help you to accomplish this holy task, just ask.

We hope you will join us this coming Saturday, May 14th for the L’Angelus Concert and family Dance at our parish.

Rachel’s Reflection

Prom is something that I don’t think I’d ever want to go to again because it made me feel very uncomfortable. The close dancing, the immodest dress, the big group of people dancing so close together was something I am not used to being around.  I was forced to dance closely too because there was not enough room to do anything else.  I was unable to swing dance, which is my favorite type of dance.  It was not just a few people dancing in an ungodly way, it was everybody on the dance floor and it was very uncomfortable to watch.  Other than the raciness of this prom, I had a really good time, I was with good friends and that’s what helped me to enjoy myself in such an unwholesome environment.

Allen’s Advice

Overall, I am glad that Rachel attended the Prom and that I was a volunteer chaperone.  I wrote another blog entry about my reflections on the Prom event itself, you can read them here.  The main reason why I say it was positive, is that Rachel got to experience a public school event and appreciate the good, wholesome, events that she has been participating in for the years that we have homeschooled her.

We have had many conversations about Prom since it occurred, it has given us much to talk about.  I was worried about the appropriateness of the Prom event itself and unfortunately, my concerns were not without basis.  The event was not something she enjoyed and not something she would choose to attend again.

Protective Parenting

In my opinion, our child rearing techniques have been vindicated, by Rachel’s reaction.  We are raising all our children to know, love and serve Christ and to love his laws.  Striving to teach them what is right and good, we have not exposed them to all the ugliness of the world, instead we have shown them, as best as we are able, the beauty of how God intended us to live and love one another.  While Rachel was curious and intrigued about what went on at a public school dance, when she experienced it first hand, she found it lacking.  Happily, it appears that the foundation we have assisted Rachel in building is on solid rock, the Rock of the Church of Jesus Christ.

While the Challenge began on Saturday for the Central Texas group, you can still sign up and participate, you have until mid-July to complete and document the missions.

The question I asked was not really fair to my friends, since I didn’t provide all the information required to really answer the question.

Based on the responses I received, it seems that there were two areas that people came from to make their recommendation, the event itself and the moral effect this event may have on my daughter and whether or not my daughter should go to a dance with a young man. In reality, both of these areas of concern were used to make our decision about whether our oldest daughter, Rachel, would attend the McNeil high school prom with our neighbor’s oldest son.

A Young Woman of Grace

I would like to begin by saying that our decision was made in partnership with my daughter Rachel, she is at the age where she has quite a bit of say in the activities in which she chooses to participate, as her parents we provide guidance. Boundaries still exist and most are set by God and a few are set by us since she is still living in our home.

First of all I want to say that I am very proud of the young woman Rachel has become and have the utmost faith in her and her decisions. The question was never about whether or not Rachel would attend the Prom and decide in one night to abandon her current way of life and rebel against us because she saw a different way of life and decided to embrace it. I certainly hope we have done a better job of presenting Christianity and forming our children to be good Catholics. God is not some overbearing authority that says live this way or I will punish you, on the contrary, He presents us with a choice between life and death, between choosing God or choosing the world. We have hopefully taught our children that the good news proclaimed by Christ is freedom from sin and that this will lead to true happiness. We have confidence that the faith that we pledged to impart on our daughter at her baptism has been accepted by her as a young adult and that she not only embraces that faith, but also desires to bring light to those around her and share the good news of the gospel.

The Prom Event

The dance itself, while it may not cause my daughter to abandon her moral convictions, does need to be evaluated to determine if it is a good event to attend. For example, I would not attend a dance if the music being played was going to be offensive to my moral convictions. I would also not attend a dance if I could reasonably expect that the dancing would be lewd and sexually suggestive. I would also not attend a dance if those who were attending would be drinking excessively and thus acting as drunk people normally act. So there are certain events, through personal experience, that I would not attend because I would have concern for my own personal safety or my sense of decency would be insulted. I am sure each of you also can think of places or events that you would not partake in due to issues such as the ones listed above. Yes, it is a judgement call, and God made us this way, to judge whether or not something is good for us or not.

Based on personal accounts from friends who have been chaperones at McNeil proms in the past and based on the Prom Agreement Form, there have been some pretty bad things happen at the McNeil Prom in the past including, use of tobacco, alcohol, and drugs by participants, immodest dress, and inappropriate dancing (lap dances, bumping and grinding and any other movement that appears to simulate sexual acts), and indecent exposure and/or removal of under garments. (reference McNeil Prom Agreement).

Dating

Our children do not and will not date, ever. I know this is a very foreign idea to most people I know. It is not how I nor my wife was raised, we both dated and dated each other and got married. Today, dating is the normal way to meet your future spouse today. There are some common questions/criticisms I hear when I tell people that our children will not date.

• How will your children meet their future spouse?
• Everyone dates, and so did you, why would you deny your child this part of normal life?
• What, really? Why not? Thats weird.
• When will your kids start dating?
• Thats what you think now, you will change you mind later.
• Dating is the only way you get to know people of the other gender.
• Your kids will never get married.

We assure people that we do desire our children to meet members of the opposite gender, to get married (probably sooner than those who date) and have fulfilled lives despite their lack of participating in the dating game (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dating_Game).
So why do we not wish for our children to date? The answer is that we believe that dating is not an activity that will produce the desired results while helping our children to avoid the near occasion of sin. While societal norms have strayed greatly from the moral teachings of Christ, we do hope that we have equipped our children to rise above the peer pressure that exists to the contrary.

We believe that dating is practice for divorce. Think about it, you go out with someone for a period of time, if you are following God’s laws, you don’t get physically intimate with the other person, but most dating relationships today do involve quite a bit of physical intimacy, if not intercourse. So the couple gets emotionally involved, sometimes very involved and then at some point (since most young people date more than one person in their quest for a spouse) breakup and stop seeing each other. Feelings are hurt, friends are lost and the young people grieve or rejoice (depending on if they were dumped or were the dumper – note the common terminology used) and move on to the next person who they find attractive.

The common response to this criticism is that you need to play the field to get to know lots of different people so you can figure out what you like in someone you would like to marry. If you don’t shop around, you may not know what you are missing. This is a flawed understanding of courtship. Courtship is not living in a vacuum and not interacting with potential spouses, you do it on a regular basis. But you shop around with friends. You guard your heart and your physical intimacy so that your feelings don’t cloud your judgement. The Courtship model actually helps you to shop around more effectively. This mode of interacting with members of the opposite gender requires not only physical chastity, but also emotional chastity. Emotional chastity may be more difficult as it requires guarding your thoughts as well as your actions. But we can take solace in the words of Christ found in the Gospel that call us to observe the sixth commandment concerning adultery, but also to avoid lust in our hearts. If Jesus called us to live in this way, then the Holy Spirit will enable us to be successful.

The Decision

So we met with the young man and got to know him a little better. Even though we have been neighbors for a few years, we have not interacted with him or his family much. I spoke with him and shared our views on dating and emphasized that our children do not date and thus if Rachel were to accompany him to Prom, that it would be as a friend. We also discussed the parameters in which he would need to agree to abide if he were to take my daughter to Prom (no after parties, no drinking, etc). I shared with him the obligation and duty I have to protect my daughters and sons from both physical and spiritual harm and my duty to protect their honor. I told him that if Rachel would go with him to Prom that he would be agreeing to take on this role for the evening. He listened attentively and agreed to do his best, and I have no reason to doubt his sincerity, so we gave our permission for Rachel to attend.

Closing Thoughts

While I feel comfortable that Rachel’s friend will keep his word, I also know what it was like to be 18 and that sometimes it may be hard to discern when a situation is making someone else uncomfortable. So I signed up to be an official chaperone at the McNeil Prom for the first two hours. I must emphasize that my being a chaperone is in no way a statement of mistrust of either Rachel or her friend. I do not plan on spying on them while they are at the Prom, I will be observing the environment and doing what I can to make sure that it is “family friendly” and free of the activity cited in the McNeil Prom Permission form. We sincerely hope that Rachel has a good time, and that it is a positive experience for both of them (since neither has been to a McNeil Prom before). Rachel has been to a homeschool formal before and had a great time, the coordinators of the Homeschool formal do a great job, they require dance lessons prior to the formal by all attendees, they have dance cards to ensure that no one feels left out and that everyone gets to meet people other than the person who escorted them to the formal, and most of the attendees are strong in their Christian morals. We look forward to their report and Rachel’s opinion on which formal event was better.

For a great book on Christian Courtship, check out Christian Courtship in an Oversexed World

Hopefully this dramatic representation of the suffering and death of our Lord Jesus Christ will enrich your Easter Triduum.

Click on the image above to view the video.

God Bless

When God reached down into his life, Alan responded and took the Lord up on his offer of Love. Now he spends his time traveling the world spreading God’s message of Love for everyone and laying hands on people and in some cases God works through Alan to heal them of spiritual and sometimes physical healing.

It was a great talk and Rachel, Denae and I are very thankful that we were able to attend.